I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
