used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
