The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
