I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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