Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
