Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
