Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
