Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
