it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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