Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
whose parrot is this?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
