Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
