Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
