Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

we were pretty classy up until the second keg

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(817): View more from Texas

They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

(214): View more from Texas

Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

(817): View more from Texas

You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

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(219): View more from Indiana

googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life

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(804): View more from Virginia

The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.

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(727): View more from Florida

My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.

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