Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hippo gnu deer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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