So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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