Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
