Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
