when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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