you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
