Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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