so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
