she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
love makes seman taste better
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
