so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
