Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
