Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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