is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
