why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
