His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
