is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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