My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
