oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
