i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
