are you so shy because you have an std?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
be right there i have to get my cape
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
