I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My ass is underappreciated
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
