i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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