She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
