have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
