We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
