Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
