She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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