toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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