she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
