where am i from again
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
