IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
