We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
