I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
