Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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