After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
