I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
