Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
