Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
