Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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